Dancing with Dirt

Will I see you in Hell this Saturday?

For the third year in a row I'll be participating in the relay version of DwD in nearby Hell, Michigan.

This is a real fun event which includes a 100k 5 person team relay plus a 50k and 50 mile ultra.

The relay takes you through mud, dirt, rocks, up hills, through lakes, rivers, creeks and streams and every once in a while some nice runnable trails. Many of the teams wear costumes and awards are given for the most creative costumes, decorated vehicles, etc. There is a definite party atmosphere (except maybe up front with those fast teams I never see).

Below is a description of the various relay legs. If you are planning on running the relay or one of the ultras maybe I will see you there? Right now there is a chance of some storms. Let's keep our fingers crossed that the rain stops in time for the pizza and beer festival at the finish.

Leg 1. The Stampede: (Blue) Distance: 4.75 miles
Start: Half Moon Lake Start: Half Moon Lake Beach Finish
Dangerous Road Cross: 3. Road safety crossing method, watch the yellow caution tape & volunteers. Course generally clockwise version of Crooked Lake Trail with bit of alternative section in the middle. Fast and crowded. Pretty, rolling, rocking dash. Watch road crossing near finish. Dry.


Leg 2. Butt Kicker (Orange/Black Tiger Stripe) Distance: 5.35

Start: Half Moon Lake Beach Finish: Silver Lake Beach at Concession Stand, lakeside.

Dangerous Road Cross: 1. Abyss and Death by Mosquitoes areas are good opportunity to sprain an ankle. Nasty decline and climb in middle followed by Butt Slider should make ankle swell double in size. Call Great Lakes Institute of Manual Therapy before all the hamstring pulls happen later in the day!
The Abyss has been dry but the recent rain could make it more fun. Otherwise, great trails.


Leg 3. Rave Run (Pink) Distance: 3.4.
Start. Silver Lake Beach, Concession lakeside. Finish: Silver Lake Beach Nob

Dangerous Road Crossings 2. Dangerous cross running Infinite. Beginning and End are out and back so opposing runners present. A face to face meeting in blind turn could take an eye out. A beautiful trail run. Most say harder than we think (wimps).

Leg 4. Potto (Pink) Distance: 6.1

Start: Silver Lake. End: Half Moon Lake
Dangerous Road Cross: 2. Long, steady power run. Trail mix of hills, rocks, roots and pickers. Watch out for bikes at your back. Miles and miles of hilly rugged trails! A trail marathon style run on the famous Pottowatami trail. Watch road crossings at the start and end. Clean

Leg 5. Purgatory (White): Distance: 5.4
Start: Half Moon Lake. Finish: Hell Creek Ranch

Dangerous Road Cross: 2. You do not go to hell this year just near it. Same old Potto but more dirt roads and horse freshener. Kelly Rd. jumpout goes north. Why are you in Purgatory? Devilish mini golf!?

Leg 6. This Sucks (Blue) Distance: 5.70.
Start: Hell Creek Ranch W Finish: Pinckney School Ranch
Dangerous Road Cross: 1. New exit, runs opposite of Leg 8 from exchange to Post 5. Hard left turn at post 5 heads into resistance running course. Someone will screw this up, will it be you? Continues to get more difficult before easy rail trail finish. Swamps can make it hard to get legs out of the earth. Plain old wicked, only the best get to run it. No truth that the skull in swamp with bullet holes in head is the course designer?
Ultra shortcut is in pink, should be gone when you get there.

Leg 7. Stripper Pole (Pink) Distance: 3.70.
Start: Pinckney Elementary School Finish: Hell Creek Ranch E.
Dangerous Road Cross: 1 Easy except for the Stripper Pole slide and Dirt Ladder 4 pointer climb. New rout after Dirt Ladder. Gets unmarked as fast as we can remark it. Rail to Trail, wicked hill section on former ski-hills then horse trails. From Post 5 to exchange Leg 7 s opposite of Leg 6.

Leg 8. Styx, the River of Death (Pink) Distance: 3.25
Start: Hell Creek Ranch Finish: Hell Hole
Wet, wet, wet. Dangerous river rocks that cut. How many, lots and frequent. Deep holes –some. Did I mention wet. Oh by the way it is wet. The path to Hell is the river of death, Styx. Your tormented soul is ours. Life jacket or swim wings optional. If a shoe comes off, just reach into the mud, there are plenty of them in there. Shop in Hell for a souvenir at the party store or I Scream parlor and thank them for letting us trash the town! The store is a good place to mail a postcard for the HELL postmark!

Leg 9. Swoosh (Orange/Black Tiger Stripe) Distance:, 4.1.
Start: Back of Hell Store Finish: Half Moon Lake Beach
Dangerous Road Cross: 1.A bit of everything; tiny bit of road, a bit of less used up-hill trail, a bit of Potto trail, a bit of scenic views, bit by flies. Nice until the last mile, then you tumble into The Abyss; weird if dry, textured if wet. Look for the hard left turn that many missed last year.

Leg 10. Where’s The F’N Bridge? (Pink) Distance: 4.6.
Start: Half Moon Lake. Finish: Bruin Lake Beach in Campground
Dangerous Road Cross: 3. Dangerous Boat Crossing: 1.
A classic, our first river crossing in 1999.Nice run until the river, then wicked. Revised post scum movement. Quick sand, quick mud, quick, your ass is stuck! Plane crashed in 1999 during Sunday cleanup just to see where we ran! Nice, undulating trails to the river, (watch for boat traffic!).

Leg 11. Amputation: (Blue) Distance: 1.4
Start: Bruin Lake: Finish Bruin Lake
Dangerous Road Cross: 0 Course counter clockwise loop. We had to cut the leg short!

Leg 12. Vertigo (Pink) Distance: 3.5.
Start Bruin Lake Beach Finish: Boyce Rd.
Couple of nasty downhills that may give you vertigo. Ending is away from parking.
Portions of nice trail, road, and hill climb, off trail running and a flat ending. Mountain climbs and butt slides in middle. No rivers but some wading through high grass. Open area can be brutally hot.

Leg 13. The Stupid Lake (Pink) Distance: 3.9.

Start: Boyce Rd. Finish: Joslyn Lake Rd Bug Pit. No Ultra Shortcut
Aquatics Running 101 is taught here. In fact, you are in the class. Failure is not acceptable. Who’s stupid? Trail Dog measured the lake with his bike. Many runners lost shoes and finished barefoot, ouch! Not for wimps. One big hill and some great trail!

Leg 14. Don’t Get No Better (Pink) Distance: 2.85 (Every year on the course) .

Start: Joslyn Lake Bug Pit. Finish: Bartell Rd. Hole
Shortcut of 2005 is now the course! Good story on name, ask Head Goat or Trail Dog. Hide ripping but tasty raspberries. Good footing, slow if overgrown, very fast if prisoners have cut the grass. Even faster if they are still out there!

Leg 15. Dirt’s Revenge (Blue) Distance: 4.1.

Start: Bartell Rd. Parking Finish: Half Moon Lake
Good tempo run. New turns at Hankerd and approaching Crooked Lake Trail. Careful attention to turns as some are sharp, technical and bad time to get off course. Dead Sprint down the Hill to the Finish. Along the beach, team members meet final runner to cross finish together.

I'll post a race report soon after the race.